- Men are Procrastinators – I don’t think they needed to tell me this. I have a husband who thinks buying gifts the day before the Holiday/Birthday/Anniversary is just as thoughtful as spending all the extra time and concerted effort planning out a gift over months. He also doesn’t believe in Deal shopping so much, why not just spend the extra money than waste all the time hunting down a good deal? Needless to say, I live with a procrastinating shopper.
- AOL Users Spend More on Gifts – My theory? AOL Accounts became popular with the older generations learning to use the internet. You popped in a CD and it walked you through and viola! There you are. Plus there was the Got Mail! Movie with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan at the time. Anyway, it was more confusing to just call up a service provider on your own, most people didn’t know you could. AOL provided Free months of service with every disk and plastered them all over the face of the Earth, so people came in and made accounts. You know how hard it is to switch emails after a long time! Anyway… they’re an older generation, in my opinion, and like my Mom have lots of children/grandchildren/etc to purchase gifts for and so they spend more. I don’t think Gmail users are cheap it’s just that during the opening wave of Internet for the Masses, Yahoo – Gmail – Hotmail weren’t around.
- Californian’s Buy More USA Products – I think I know the answer to why this is, as I am a Midwesterner, we don’t actually go looking at labels to see how much something is. By the time our child has latched onto something it could come from Antarctica and be made by whales and we wouldn’t care as long as it made them happy. Californians are more apt to say, “No, honey, I’m sorry.. you can’t have that doll because it is not made in America out of recycled paper and cardboard boxes.” Just saying. (I’m not anti-CA, I’m jealous you have Sunshine.)
- Men Have No Imagination – Men have imaginations, they’re just smart. Why buy someone something they don’t want? Why purchase your wife something she may give you ‘that look’ for? Why not just get her a large Gift Card to her favorite store and let her go do lots of shopping! That’s wonderful! (HINT HINT HINT)
- The Older You Get the More You Give to Charity – Yes. The closer we get to the fleeting future the more we look behind us at our actions and our deeds in wondering whether or not we were good people.
- New England Buys More Eco-Friendly Goods – Let’s be honest here. New England also has the highest rated Household Medians, Incomes and lowest Poverty levels. They can afford to purchase all eco-friendly products locally. Sometimes I just cannot afford the 5x the cost of something cheaper eco-friendly product. Especially with a husband that’s been laid off (like a lot of other Americans.)
- People With Shorter Last Names Spend Less – Is my name long enough? My sister shrank her name so that must explain why she penny pinches and I’m a spend thrift. Hm. Is it too late to change my name?
So, taking all this data together, we can form a picture of an ideal gift-giver: a woman with an AOL email address, 55 or older, who lives in California or New England and has a long, complicated last name. Does this sound like anyone you know? Then you’re in luck.
If anyone out there fits this description, would you be my friend?
I received this information from Uncommon Goods. It is meant to be amusing. I have many Californian & New England friends and so I’m not picking on them (much). I was not compensated for promoting their amusing data, but if anyone does match that description they are more than welcome to send me presents.