Today was interesting. I woke up all prepared for an interview and then found out forty minutes into it that it was going to be via video call and not just a call. So I went zooming through my house to make myself both presentable and find decent lighting. The lighting seemed to be absent in my room because of the sun on the snow and my gigantic 6 foot arched window. We really need to get a black fan blind for the top, regardless… I did the interview with bad lighting and the fact that my mic was being abnormal. For the next few hours I waited to see if I’d have a heart attack.
I find it strange how I have thousands, probably thousands, of photos all across the internet. I’ve been in books, my face plastered across galleries, snapped in runways… hell I was in a gallery for adult toys once. (That is a really funny story but not today’s.) Though somehow I am a nervous wreck thinking about this video wherein I have no idea what I look like or how I sound will wind up. Perhaps it’s my vanity. Le sigh.
I saw Christine Coppa’s (the person I was interviewing for Outnumbered 3 to 1) updated blog page about how she lied and told a cab driver she was married. It reminded me of how I used to wear a fake wedding ring to job interviews. I never said I wasn’t married and I never said it was a wedding ring. I never lied. Presentation is everything and I needed a job, selling myself off as the illusion of a married mother was always better than the alternative… which I was. The idea of the single mother in most professional minds is a woman who will call in several times for a sick baby, for a late babysitter, for no babysitter. I once took my son Cody to get an application for a job that obviously had a WE’RE HIRING sign on the window. I walked in and asked for an application, just an application, he took one look at me, then at Cody and said they weren’t hiring. My resume was stacked, I had a wonderful resume, my skill level exceeded half the jobs I applied for. I was the best fit possible for half the jobs but the moment “single” and “mother” came out of my mouth was the moment the interview closed. So… I wore a ring, just a silver coil I found on the ground one day. That little thing landed me a job.
I was thinking of that when I read that post. I was thinking of her poised and presentable, seemingly ready to take on anything on the other end of the camera. Prepared is a better word. Had I always been unprepared in my life? Had I always been running around in a figurative white robe trying to be presentable last minute and never quite getting the right lighting… never quite having the right sound quality to come across well? Maybe.
I think I’ll be better prepared for the next interview I have… I have a lot of them coming for this blog and the other. I’m not as fickle as I hope I didn’t seem today. I am usually a bit more ‘together’, I’ve just been out of it with all these health issues. I’m sure not every interviewer has to pop pain killers just to be able to sit for a sliver of time to ask six questions. The other day the doctor decided to surprise me by shooting very large needles into my pelvic joints and injecting them with horrid awful burning solutions, it’s still painful to sit down for long and I suppose I wasn’t expecting to have to, but I am a person that doesn’t let those things get to them. You have to get up (or down in this case) and continue on…. with the help of a few opiates. Ha!
I was really honored, despite my own vanity and complaints, that she took the time out to speak with me. It was an experience that doesn’t come quite often. I look back into my own single motherhood and where I came from, what I survived is more like it and I know what it is to be thankful for moments like these. I’ll take the hiccups in my life and the lack of being readily capable if it gains me wonderful chances.
But fret not, my dear readers, who ever you may be, you will get to see this interview once I get an edited recording to write a post on Outnumbered 3 to 1 with. And what about this blog? Well… “Provocative Dialogs” restarts within a week, which is why I’m a little behind. Which is good, I learned a few things today. Joeyray Hall thankfully said he’d put up with me again for a re-interview and once I am finished with this book regarding the history of the cult I was in I am going to do one amazing piece with an interview. Okay… so I am going to imagine it will be amazing! Maybe, just maybe, I’ll be a little more prepared.