Maybe all this is imaginary and we’re just dreaming.
We’re just sitting here dreaming up every second we share together.
Maybe we made each other up cause we wanted someone so bad that we just created each other out of hopelessness and that gave us hope, no matter how screwed up it is.
Who is to say that it isn’t somewhat real? Everyone believes in God but no one has met the guy. They make all these stories and myths and legends about God but no one’s really met him. So we’re like each others God, we just make a religion out of feeling lonely and sorry for ourselves.
We’re so wrong for each other that it works. Everything about us is so wrong it’s so right. We keep messing up over and over and over again but every time we screw up we’re somehow closer. So maybe one day we’ll just screw up so bad that we’ll somehow mesh into each other and we won’t have to be alone on our own anymore. We’ll be like some evolved species of man, a duel comedy.
I think maybe everything is so ridiculous and reality is so amusing that maybe whatever it is we just pretend in our minds when we’re together is what is really sane and makes the most sense. And maybe all I’m saying is that the only thing I can believe in right now is you, even if you are imaginary and I somehow formed you out of my head. You are the only thing I really believe in. And if God threw down some magical spear right here next to my chair, I don’t think I’d see it cause I’d be too busy seeing you.
Even if you are screwed up, you are perfect cause I made you that way. And I can’t stop thinking that one day when we finally figure out how to screw up things so bad in our lives – that I’ll finally get to feel what it feels like to know your real, and I won’t be afraid when you pinch me cause I know when I wake up you’ll be there.
Something I wrote to my husband before we moved in together; I was in Seattle and he in St. Louis.