Curled on the couch watching Zac Galfianakis, someone else’s Rams blanket laced in orange cat hair tucked around my chilled feet. A warm body pressed against my back, large hand resting on my hip gripping lightly the controller for volumes sake. I thought to myself, “This is marriage.” The comfort of aged pajamas tainted with left over food from my son who doesn’t like applesauce on his cheeks when there is never a napkin nearby, pressed against over-sized holey jeans that are too comfortable for him to toss out. The natural wave of laughter, mine always a bit loudly loony, made our chests rise and fall in duality and closing the very minuscule gap left between us on our not-so-very-wide couch. It was a perfect everyday moment.
Our cable company, Charter, seems to have taken a liking to messing with our heads. The show abruptly stopped working because of our internet that goes out from time to time. I turned a little clumsily, although his arm was there to catch me in case I collapsed off the couch, and tucked my head into the crook of his arm… just beneath his neck… so that I might hear the thump thump thumping of his extra beating heart. I smiled some secret smile to myself while his eyes were closed off away from me. These are my favorite moments. I felt as if I all the sudden understood the entire meaning of marriage laying there in our make-shift pajamas. Just one of those, “I get it.”, feelings. And the tiring day of waking up, Christmas shopping, breakfast, chores, lunch, tutoring Math, scheduling, playtime, errands, dinner, laundry, bills, picking up and picking up and picking up and bath time and bedtime and no time…. it is always worth it for a moment like that. We get a few hours to not be Mom & Dad, just ourselves, and laying in applesauce old Victoria Secret Pink sweatpants and over-sized holey jean shorts curled up together beneath a hairy Rams throw blanket laughing at a crazed comedian on Netflix… was the perfect way to spend it. We fell asleep there, tucked away and hidden from the up-stairs children while the static white noise of the baby monitor played background music to our dreamlessness. Love. If anyone ever wanted to know what being married was like in its best times this would have been the perfect picture.
I only wish I knew if Zac Galfianakis was joking about that twin brother.