|My sister Mel and I on my 6th birthday.|
I had become a Mother very early in life. Prior to becoming pregnant I had been a rambunctious, rebellious, crazy punk rock/gothy looking teen if you can believe it. Knowing I needed to change, I did a complete 180′ and started dressing as if I lived on a commune. I was already ridiculed for keeping my child when I was so young, I didn’t need people harassing me about my style choice. I felt that changing myself on the outside would make it appear as though I fit in, just enough that my son could have a normal life. However, as I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship, it made me feel completely depressed and the tiny bit of self-esteem I’d gathered seeped out of me.
On my 18th birthday when Cody was 7mo old, my eldest sister Melanie bought me a dress. It was a short black sleeveless dress with white polka dots and when she handed it to me she told me that just because I am a Mom doesn’t mean I am not Me. She threw a party for me that night and all my friends came, I wore the beautiful black dress with the white polka dots. Having had been pushed beyond my limits in a relationship prior that destroyed all of my self worth, this night was the beginning of me realizing I was still someone. Melanie not only gave me something to show me how beautiful I was as a Mother, she gave me a part of my life back that I didn’t know I had lost.
|I wore the same dress when I sang at my late Grandmothers wedding.|
On my birthday each year I buy a new dress. This year I bought one from Fasshon Kyo. I don’t get to wear my dresses really, but it reminds me that I am still me no matter how old I get. Being a Mom and a Wife must always come first for me, my family must always come first, but I am still here. That crazy punk rock / gothy crazy day-dreaming cancerian girl is still here. I just hope with a little bit better fashion sense. I’m here in part because of her. Thank you Melanie. <3
|Fasshon Kyo dress. (This is not me.)|
Written with love for my sister Melanie Holden. Thank you.