My husband stole my heart through the strings of a guitar a little over four years ago. Although long before then it would have been his little red Geo Metro while my teen self would sit on a park bench in the middle of town just hoping he’d pass by so I could catch a glimpse of him, but it was his hands a decade later than won me over. The way he nervously shook while plucking strings to “Oh Comely” by Neutral Milk Hotel. I listened to the gruff purposefully off key voice and fell in love.
“Goldaline, my dear,We will fold and freeze togetherFar away from here.There is sun and spring and green forever.”
I haven’t heard my husband play his own music in years. After Judah was born he set aside his music and took on parenting with that same artful passion he had in creating lyrics, but every so often he’ll pick up his guitar and sing a made up melody created for Brown Bear, Brown Bear for our son; or Goodnight Moon. Then I remember the man that sat cross legged across from me, almost shivering from nervousness of playing in front of another person and it makes me catch my breath; as silly as that sounds.
“Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see… I see a Red Bird looking at me….”
We’re such different people now, just as every couple is after marriage and children, but the essence of who we were is hidden like a Highlights picture in our everyday actions. My husband may not be writing me a song as he had done long before we met again face to face, or strumming tunes for me to record to lyrics that I’d written in the days when I was younger, but he plays with that same joy for our child just as I sing with him through my same voice. I can still recognize within the man he became the boy I once left my whole world for and he’s singing… “… that’s what I see…”