It’s been a really beautiful weekend, spent on walks with the boys and family moments out. With everything going on in our lives it’s difficult sometimes to get through a day without tension. The last few days was as if life gave us a little slack and we were able to all breath.
These calmer afternoons where we all forget about Cody’s bad grades, Billie’s current job situation, the House we need to find, my Health Issues and Judah.. well he’s perfectly happy… but when the rest of us can forget are some of the best days we have together.
I walk in the middle, Billie and Judah ahead of me, Judah on Billie’s shoulders as some metaphor to our life and Billie’s constant support of our son. Cody behind me, tagging so far behind as to feel an individual and yet close enough that he never loses site of me. I was a middle child, so being in the middle suits me. I can see ahead of us on the long path and behind us from where we came from, being led and followed simultaneously. I have time to reflect where others watch their steps so they don’t get too far ahead or behind, a symbolic gesture to how our life works.
We had lunch at the Mexican restaurant in town, Judah has been getting so big that he is incredibly well behaved sitting in the booth and waiting on his food. Twice we’ve been out and he is more composed. The bigger he gets the more I’m amazed at him.
Cody sat beside me, he says, “This is really nice Mom.” And I know it’s more than the food. It’s just the weekend, the air, the stillness in our lives for a moment where we can smile at each other and let go our inner troubles just to be. And it was. It was really nice.
Tomorrow brings with it the reality of the weekdays, the workloads and the difficult and heartbreaking task of finding our cat Riley a home due to Judah’s worsening cat allergies. But for now it’s quiet, it feels nice to be let go of Life’s restraints and it really makes me appreciate my family.
As Sunday comes to an end, breath, fall back a second and look from the middle outward at those around you and smile when you realize that from this vantage point you are hugged by the compassion of those that love you; that will never move ahead so far as to leave you behind, and never fall back (no matter the urge for individuality) because they still need you. Be Still, my Mother would tell me. It’s amazing what you notice when you are..