To the Parents in My Town – Tell Your Children ‘No’

little red shirt

My little guy is still learning how to play with other children and how to interact with them on the same level, so it comes as no surprise that some children feel a bit awkward around him when he gets excited or mimics them. However, that’s not an excuse to let your child bully mine.

This is the third time I’ve dealt with this extremely rude behavior while watching the parent just stand there until they get annoyed AT ME and take their child away (or I take mine away). It’s really rude. I’ve all at once cried about it, got really angry and am to the point now of being fed up. This never happens to my husband when he’s out, but to his credit – he does have a very intimidating personality. So we’ve come to believe that it’s just because I’m too nice and I care too much about not being rude to the other child. I don’t want to have to be mean just to keep my child safe, because my sternness isn’t stern enough. It’s not my job, it’s your job. So to all the parents in this town, do me a favor, when they start being little bullies – tell them NO.

The first time this happened we were at a toddler park and my son was copying everything the little kids were saying and clapping for them when they went down the slide. So they were making him say mean things that were directed at himself, to himself and I was trying to get him away – smiling as he kept telling himself no, even though it made me sad. And instead of the parent telling the child that’s not very nice, they got indignant with me and pulled their children out of the park. My son stood there, uncomprehending, watching them go.

The second time happened at the park where we frequent. My son has learned to ‘wait his turn’ when there are other kids in a line. So he was ‘waiting his turn’ when a little boy realized that he would wait forever. He would sit there and suck his thumb and wait for the slide until the boy went down so he would take as much time as he possibly could and whenever he decided to go up the stairs to the slide, the boy would push him out of the way and do it again. The parent was standing – right there – and even though I asked the child nicely to go down the slide and nicely to take turns because my son was waiting. He smirked at me and continued to think it was okay. The parent didn’t seem to mind either so we left the park.

Now today I go to the Library and my son finds a little boy to play with. They are so happy running around and you have no idea how happy it makes me seeing my son play with other children. And then once the child picks up that he will copy anything he does, he starts to take advantage of it. When once they are in a line and playing in the book aisles, it soon turns into the child pushing him forcibly until he runs down the book aisles. I said no once, said no twice and the parent (to her credit) said no while never getting up from the corner where she was reading her book. So the child smirked at me and did it again, this time Judah fell down, and I finally got on to the child (in the stern voice my husband says is not so stern). My son tried to hide behind a Judy Bloome book and then when he tried to disappear around the corner the boy got away from me and followed him over there trying to get him to flap around. I took my sons hand and led him out of the Library. The parent was watching the whole time and I really felt like giving her a piece of my mind, but instead smirked and left.

I don’t want to have to always make my child leave somewhere because I either a) am not stern/mean/rude enough or b) because you feel entitled to let your child push other kids around. I don’t want to have to explain to my son why he can’t play with the kids at the park because you don’t like how he’s playing or you don’t care if your child is taking advantage of him. I can’t help but believe this is the beginning of early bullying. That letting your child pick on another child at this age without explaining how it isn’t respectful or kind will just make them grow up to be these kids that think it’s okay to push around and beat on others.

It’s not okay – at any age. It is not okay.

So to the parents in this town, tell your child, NO. Tell them no when they mock him or laugh at him. Tell them NO when they are ignorant to an adult who is kindly saying not to do something. Tell them NO when they push him and watch him pick himself up off the floor.

Your child isn’t entitled to be mean just because my son doesn’t understand that is what they’re doing. Because *I* understand. And the next time a child is being mean to my son – I won’t be the one leaving.

Also thanks to big brother, who is 6ft tall at 14, and stands beside his little brother. <3

Comments

  1. It is unbelievable to me what some parents will let their children get away with! I can’t imagine they’re all just so clueless that they don’t see what’s happening. How do they live with themselves, knowing that they’re raising children who have no empathy whatsoever? Oh, wait. They’d need to have some themselves, and it seems obvious they don’t. :-(

  2. Maegan Morin says:

    I completely understand what you are saying. My son loves to play with other kids and is very easily tempted to follow the leader. I usually just have to give my son a sharp word and he will listen to me while the other kids continues to be awful. Meanwhile the other mother just stands there and tunes her child out. It makes me so sad that people dont care how their kids are going to turn out. They dont realize that its the little things now that shape their lives later. I have been told that i have very well “trained” kids lol. I really hope they learn to be good kind people and remember it when they are older.

  3. Mother of 2 says:

    As mother of a 24 year old and an 11 year old, I have to get this off my chest. If you don’t leave this comment up, I understand. But I hope you will, because this needs to be said..I know some won’t be happy with what I say..
    What in heck is wrong with some parents? Have you no common sense? Don’t you realize how vital it is to teach your kids right from wrong? Allowing your children to bully others in ANY way, shape or form is NOT acceptable! Have you gone daft? Grow some balls and discipline your kids! I’m not saying hit them, I do not condone spanking. But dole out a reasonable punishment and show them you mean business by STICKING with it and FOLLOWING THROUGH. Standing around and letting your child behave in a way that could get him/her, or someone else hurt is not good parenting! If you can’t figure out how to make your child behave, then for Lord’s sakes, take a parenting class!

  4. Debbie Welchert says:

    It’s the same way here. My daughter got bullied growing up and now it’s my grandchildrens turn. It you have money in this town it’s like your exempt from everything, you can do just what you want and get away with it. Hopefully by the time my grandchildren have children it will be a better place to live in with no bullying.

  5. Sandy Cain says:

    My daughter was bullied horribly – the other parents (and the teacher!!!) did nothing. Thank God that now bullying is being taken seriously, and not “just something kids do”. When push comes to shove, though, I will do anything now to protect my family. If it means I have to “bully” the parents into taking action, then so be it! Not very PC, I know……but I will no longer stand by idly and watch this happen.

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