Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously
- Ok… so… what’s the speed of dark?
- When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong line.
- Every one has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.
- What happens if you get scared to death twice?
- I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
- Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
- Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- Life isn’t like a box of chocolates; it’s more like a jar of jalapeno’s. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
Diet Rules For Cheaters
- If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
- If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled.
- When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do.
- Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sarah See Cheesecake.
- If you fatten up everyone else around you then you look thinner.
- Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel.
- Cookie pieces contain no fat — the process of breaking causes fat leakage.
- Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice-cream on a spoon making a sundae.
A police recruit was asked on an exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”
In the blank he wrote, “Call for backup.”
Laugh a Little!
I had taken these from a friend’s Facebook Page that always posts jokes. She’s hilarious and I love her, thanks Marsleen.